What about Bob??

Yesterday, I saw a new psychiatrist. He asked me what conditions I have been diagnosed with. I asked him if he saw the movie ‘What about Bob’. His face turned white and he immediately told me he would be moving out of state in October. I asked him where he was going. He just smiled and asked a nurse to schedule an appointment for me in November.

It was funny to see him squirm like OJ the second time in court. I think his head actually spun a 360. I think the name Bob Wiley would give most any shrink a lot of anxiety. A lot. I swear as I left the room I heard a bottle of booze being opened and poured. I begged the gum snapping nurse to make my appointment in September. No dice.

I love messing with peoples’ minds. One psychologist asked me if I had any signs of schizophrenia. I said, “No we don’t. We’ve been asked that before and the answer is still no. I like to think of it more like group therapy. Except for Jim. He won’t cooperate with anything. No, we’re fine.”

I think I have to back off a little because I could very easily be committed against my will and just drugged for the rest of my days. Like the time I put on a Superman outfit and told someone on the rooftop that I could fly, then jumped off to some scaffolding about 10 feet down. I heard he him dial 911. I’m sure he’d testify against me. Yeah, I think I’ll back off – for now.

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